Bugenstein

I've been pretty darn happy these past few days.  Maybe it's just a big flook?  Lol.   I'm starting to think deviant art plays a big part of it.  The people on here can be pretty outstanding.   Not to mention the creativity I get to enjoy.   How could anyone be unhappy about that? Just got my premium membership and I'm trying to figure out all the new stuff I can do (Already adding skins as you can see lol).

I feel like nothing.  Neutral to the world seeing only blacks and whites.  Everyone's faceless and in stride, in no hurry to get anywhere special.  Signs are blank, billboards and stop signs only distinguished by their shape. No one speaks, no one makes sense.  Sometimes I feel like falling head first into a pile of sharp needles just to feel something. Even if it's just pain that I do.  It wouldn't matter anyhow, it's only a momentary fix.  Momentary and painful, is that how I really want to live?

So I'm really torn between colleges, I really don't want to move so far away from my friends and family.  I've always  wanted to maybe go to an art college maybe photography?  Anyone have any ideas of a good one? Ok then there is this whole computer thing I absolutely love computers and I want to make a business building them.  It's a really tough situation to be in. There is also this whole situation of me and my friends.  All of them (ok most of them) have chosen a really bad path, the whole drug path (I know this is a small town and it gets boring) but it doesn't mean you have to resort to drugs...right?  I have been trying to stop hangin